Although It Does My Head In and Makes Me Panic about What Children See - Why I Love The Internet - Today

I am forever saying - parental control, Bond is violent, I don't understand what wi-fi is nor do I really care, pick up a pencil and draw, stare at snowdrops - today however I like the Internet.

I read a wonderful blog post about Hans Sloane - I spend a lot of very blissful time at The Physic Garden and I loved the article.

I looked up an obscure God I needed for work. I found out how old Marcus Mumford is - this is oddly important to me.

I fiddled tentatively on instagram and lost a looooong time looking at manger - the blog on my list to the left.

Rousseau - here I paraphrase in extremes - when asked what was the greatest scientific advance of his time and why  ( lots of people were asked by the Academie, not just him ) said 'none, man is born free and everywhere we are in chains.'

I usually agree with him however today I don't  - a little bit.

I'm am bit twitter before heading out to friends to stay for the evening and take the dog on the beach.

Look at this :

I love love love The British Library and it's fascinating blog - I too have always loved Edward Lear and consider him, like A A Milne and D H Lawrence -  to be one of our overlooked geniuses. This gives me great joy.

I am just starting work on a new manuscript - have a working title I quite like. This made me laugh :

Off to supper ce soir and thought I might make these.

Right, back to Twitter.

The Archers, Sociopaths, Spaghetti alle Vongole and a Place Mat

Narcissus. I love the Classics, always have and always will and one day when my life gets normal again I am due to undertake some postgraduate study. Latin, Greek, Classics. 

I have not only read but enjoyed Thucydides. Narcissus. There is a sociopath in The Archers called Rob. I am 'in the trenches' trying to get away from a sociopath.

A very dear friend of mine  - married to a sociopath - came up with the brilliant idea of an iPhone app - these people are good, plausible, charming, always one step ahead and utterly without remorse.

If one could scan for the sociopath kink in the DNA so so much pain would be spared. I imagine they could all be herded together in a sociopath compound and be odd together.

Sadly the sociopath tends to ferret out the empath. We don't stand a chance. The key determinator  - no empathy. 

I don't want to harp on about it here but I will be as my freedom emerges and I repair. All I would say - be careful. You don't know they are out there until they decimate your life - and they are not sort of clever / charming / gifted like Sherlock Holmes - they are evil.

I was having supper at a friends house. It was lovely. Me and just boys - big ones but nevertheless. They could not have been more kind or gracious. They fed me and made me laugh, they were gentle and gracious. I have been brutalised but they understood on a very kind level and made me feel safe and happy. 

I started - here I start to look to my faith which has always been with me but I come to lean on now when I really need it ( apologies greater, divine power - to err is to be human and all that.. ). I sat quietly saying - a bit  "Eat, Pray, Read' or whatever that book is - show me a sign that there is someone, something on my side, someone looking after me. 

I looked down at the place mat. A picture of a hunting scene. My dad's name on it. The hunt referred to was the very Hunt my new boy - who is not a sociopath - was out with just a week or so ago. 

Message received with great thanks. Good will out. 

I need a bit of him :

Food heals and tonight when I need to heal I will have a unique recipe made just for me - I can't really share as it's sort of private but suffice to say spaghetti alle vongole will get me through. Made with love. 

We will all have our battles - I would advise anyone going through shit - have faith, have faith in love, give thanks for those who support you in your darkest hour and know that 'right will be done.'

My spaghetti tonight is made with love. Made to give me strength and to help me heal. 

George Bernard Shaw, Chris Riddell, Aladdin ( a bit )

So I have been thinking about youth. I was a serious, bookish, youth. When my peers were dancing like nutters to rave music I used to decide which black polo neck to wear, transcribe Lloyd Cole and the Commotions lyrics and deliberate over which cheeses I should serve at dinner.

By virtue of a great love that has come into my life over the last few years - not looking or what - I have met - sadly only via email as he lives a long way away  - a great friend of my love who is now a mentor to me as well as great friend.

You know how they say people  - i.e. trolls are more unpleasant and vitriolic online as they can hide behind a false identity or a screen ?

Well ever the optimist I would say the converse is also true. Some people I have only email conversations with usually by virtue of geography have become incredibly open and revealing and very kind and perceptive.

The man who lives across the sea - I don't actually know how old he is, was saying that reading and writing are keeping his mind active. I couldn't see it that way - he has such a keen, beautiful mind and his wisdom and life experience certainly guide me. A gift of a life well lived.

Is youth wasted on the young ? Like most women I do wonder why I didn't run around aged 18 looking at my flat tummy and sports fit legs saying 'look, I'm in bloody good nick' instead of feeling self conscious and covering myself up in baggy jeans and shirts.

I didn't know George Bernard Shaw was co -founder of the London School of Economics.

There is the wonderful fearlessness, the intense literary absorption  - in mine and my peers' cases - intense evenings reading Auden or William Blake.

There was lots of fun too but I have lots of fun now.

Part of my current mid life crisis which I rather like in fact absolutely adore is my acquisition of mentors - I am blessed to have made friends with people of quite an arbitrary selection - most a good bit older than me and I am thrilled.

I just read Aladdin with my daughter - she asked and she is 7 so....Jasmine is quite a sparky woman - rejects the notion of arranged marriage and wants to marry for love.

The story - admittedly a slightly spangly Disney story book version - went on about 'being yourself' and being loved and admired for who we are. Then she swooned a bit when Aladdin took her off on the magic carpet for a really cool late night picnic. Anachronisitc ?

Anyway part of this blog is to mention things I come across that I think shouldn't be lost to history.

A recent visit to the fabulous St James' Piccadilly had me come across a memorial to John Hunter often called the patron of scientific surgery. HIs collection and bequest to the nation was phenomenal.

I have also been thinking lots recently about Chris Riddell - also I heard a Desert Island Discs with Anthony Horowitz. I had a certain - moment - thinking how bloody lucky we are to have these wonderful gifted powerhouses in modern life, culture.

I have a lifelong thing for broad beans. This is faultless. Grilled halloumi.

Moving, the seaside, J Brand jeans, Jack Wills

There is something very very wonderful about moving. I am moving shortly. I love packing boxes - I am a non hoarder - every bit of baby kit went to one or more than one round robin new homes - even the little Bonpoint cashmere hat and boots I had for my baby.

I am clearing out, clearing up, thinking of what to come, to replace, to revitalise.

There have been moves and moves and yes possiblys and other countries maybe but this is the one I just know.

Already there are great friends in situ - by complete coincidence and lovely new friends I have only just made but I know I will treasure.

Illness in the family keeps me in Blighty for a bit but I don't mind one little bit  - we have the seaside, great food, green fields.

I am in clothes mode as well as book and food mode. My boy is full on Jack Wills  - adult  - and I make no apology I love it.

Look :

Not him, the sweater. My sisters and lots of friends are super duper on Facebook. I am not but I get the emails and post comments. I love Instagram.

For example  :

I have obviously never grown out of school uniform - the occasional evening or weekend when I put on a dress and very heely heels and frankly love it but day to day it's J Brand or Made in Heaven jeans, breton t shirts, Superdry t shirts or my faithful layering - Jack Wills and Hollister. Converse or Supergas.

I've been wearing these for a good few years now and they are, to my mind, faultless :

They look much better being 'worn' just look up cool bloggers and you'll see - the white ones are terrific if tanned and brave.

As ever I rely on my adored Nuxe to keep my skin happy - now with a website 20% sale.

Reading all sorts of things in slightly irritating instalments as reading has to fit around packing : as ever I love Tim Harford, Harry Mount's Amo Amas Amat and in small slithers to be enjoyed with absolute concentration, Richard Holmes' The Age of Wonder. 

I have read Melanie Reid's column since she first had her accident - I listened to a wonderful interview with her this am on Radio 4 - if you can catch it on catch up do - it was quite spellbinding. Like most of us she only had a wobble when talking about her son.  

Food: odd really, latest crush which I have to have every morning ( lycopene, a good thing ) plum tomatoes, hot, natural yoghurt and lots and lots of jalapeños. Love it. 

Benedict Cumberbatch, Alfred de Vigny and The Ashmolean

Today I am in full on French mode. I am cooking Toulouse sausages so the kitchen smells amazing. I am going to prepare for lunch tomorrow the watercress veloute so beautifully photographed on Mimi  Thorisson's  wonderful Manger blog. I can't get enough of it at the moment. Blog and food.

I was intrigued, amused ( by many of the funny emails that came in - 'he was a tyrant, he lost, that hairdo...' ) to see the media coverage of the King in the car park. There is an interesting piece here on the naughty pretender Perkin Warbeck.

On the French theme I saw a version of Ionesco's Rhinoceros a few years ago at the The Royal Court - a play I studied, know and love.

Saying goodbye to a friend at the tube we chatted briefly to a very nervous Benedict Cumberbatch then the lead actor. See the link to Richard III ?

Alfred de Vigny was born on this day in 1797. I loved his work Chatterton.

Sir Henry Royce was born on this day in 1863. He would with his friend and colleague go on to do something with cars. Which COULD lead me to comment on Jeremy Clarkson  but I won't other than to say I never have watched Top Gear but for the Producer involved to be castigated and vilified is surely bananas ?

I did shyly tweet this week as the understandable media storm raged  - please look at the wonderful Amanda Vickery's Suffragettes Forever. I loved it and think it wonderful this is brought to a current audience. I was debating just last night at dinner where the 'feminist movement' places itself in today's world.

I watched an old episode of Sex and the City recently - I wasn't a fan at the time but I am rubbish at following things on TV. I rather enjoyed it and found the four woman dynamic interesting. I am thinking of preparing not just a work of fiction but a 'treatise.' Free association in written form.

French women were able to vote for the first time on the 29th of April 1945.

Today is the Feast day of Saint Augusta of Treviso.

This is terrific from the Ashmolean Museum, a cast of James Gillray's Georgian caricatures - keeping the scandal mongers of their day busy. Plus ca change ?

Bon appétit.

On Luck...David Livingstone and Humphry Clinker

My son just had a lovely birthday. He became in years what has always been my lucky number. St Patrick's Day just passed - the luck of the Irish..

Spring, daffodils, lambs gambolling and mewing for sustenance. Emerging from a long winter. A wonderful coloured, scented bloom in the garden.

This makes me think of luck. I am a huge believer - call it what you will. Fortune, good luck, karma, fate, coincidence. I have a great friend and mentor who is a lifelong sailor and yachtsman - he has so many lyrical superstitions and tales - I am endlessly enchanted.

I had a wonderful conversation yesterday on how lucky we are to be aware of the blessings of that which money can't buy - I hate to sound all worthy - it was mainly a conversation about the untold joys of Radio 4 Extra - currently with an adaptation of one of my favourite books Sons and Lovers.

I thought I might add the books I have on the go, I seem to have a particularly engaging Spring Selection :

Every Contact Leaves A Trace   Elanor Dymott
Tales of Unease                            Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Happiness By Design                  Paul Dolan

I'll report back as I go.

I also can't get enough of the Shakespeare's Restless World podcasts. I play them on my Mac whilst I am working.

Right.

Tobias Smollett was born on this day in 1721. The link is to his work The Adventures of Humphrey Clinker. There is also a great Guardian piece from 2013 about the sad in my view demise of his influence and popularity. Got to love the name Roderick Random. He would of course be a huge influence on a certain Charles Dickens.

Today is also the birthday of David Livingstone , in 1831. He seems to have certainly established a connection between mosquitoes and malaria and enjoyed a good strike rate with his 'Livingstone's Rousers'.

Rembrandt's Titus was sold by Christie's for a record 760,000 guineas on this day in  1965.

March the 19th is the feast day of St. Joseph always falling during Lent and therefore a period of abstinence - dishes without meat are traditionally served.

Which leads me to the rather marvellously named sfinci di San Giuseppe traditionally prepared in Southern Italy on this day.

Tuck in.

To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand

Several people have kindly asked what I would like for Mother's day - including my children. I had some friends for dinner on Monday - all mothers, we discussed it:

A gardenia
Cashmere socks
The new Ishiguro
J Brand jeans / chinos / anything
A Roberts radio
Risotto rice
To be able to find the hairbrush

Then we all pretty much said, you know what we have it. We have beautiful children, we're warm and fed and we enjoy good health.

This morning I thought:

A country walk
Daffodils
People I might have been a bit arsey with understanding I didn't mean it and am truly sorry
To swim in a moat again like I did last summer
The smell of a really good tomato
My son's quick wit
My son's quirky wit
My daughter's kindness
My dog conked out on my feet, snoring
My dearest boy who I call / email and vice versa morning and evening and who seems to put the marrow in my bones
My family

Anyway.

According to Shakespeare today in 1302 was Romeo and Juliet's wedding day.

In 1702 this day saw the publication of England's first National Newspaper - The Daily Courant.

On March the 11th 1835 HMS Beagle anchors off Valparaiso in Chile. If you have never read Isabel Allende have a go, she's fab.

A monumental one for me, Henry Tate was born on this day in 1819. If you have a chance, I suspect it is still running, you can take the Thames river boat from Tate Gallery to Tate Modern - called Tate a Tate and great fun.

Image courtesy of tate. org

Today is the feast day of St.Constantine who was King of Cornwall. I've visited Cornwall a few times and utterly loved it.

Food. People tweet tweet about twitter. I love it, I find it to be a great mine of information about all the things I love - museums, art, books, food, what's going on, great blogs, recipes.

I'm in a happy frenzy with Cheltenham so this for Willie Mullins, Ruby Walsh and everyone who works with such dedication to make the whole thing quite so spellbinding.